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As any diligent newspaper reader would have noticed, the prime minister has sacrificed a summer
of ‘chillaxing’ to assume his position at the helm of the Tory propaganda
machine.
Any malfunctioning
cogs – namely one particular relative of George Osborne – have been adjusted,
and Government departments ordered to do their bit to produce positive news stories. So it is no surprise that David Cameron took it upon
himself to write an article in yesterday’s Daily Telegraph to claim that Britain “cannot afford to miss out on
fracking”.
Regrettably
though, if the prime minister intends to break into journalism he faces an uphill
struggle. What is meant to be a convincing manifesto for shale oil and gas
extraction is filled with false assertions and empty rhetoric.
Therefore, Whipped Green has taken upon itself to
issue some corrections and clarifications to the article in question.
These will be
forwarded to the editor of the Daily
Telegraph, and will hopefully appear in print later this week.
I,
The Rt Hon David Cameron MP, sincerely apologise for deceiving readers with the
following statements.
1.
“It’s simple – gas and electric bills
go down when our home-grown supply goes up.”
This
assertion fails to take into account the primary factor behind changes in
domestic gas bills – the wholesale price of gas. Britain is part of a grid that channels gas throughout the whole of Europe.
Therefore, much of the gas produced in the UK would be exported, meaning that
the cost reduction due to increased supply would be dissipated across the
entire continent.
This
contrasts with the USA which, until recently, hardly exported any gas. Therefore,
the rapid increase in gas supply from fracking flooded the domestic market,
driving down energy bills. Even Mark Linder, from the PR department at
Caudrilla, admits that any reductions in UK gas prices
would be “basically insignificant”.
Also, the
cost of extraction in the UK is likely to be higher than across the pond.
Initial attempts to frack in Balcombe (which is for shale oil, not gas) have
been vigorously resisted by local residents, and all indications suggest than any
further inroads by Caudrilla will attract substantial opposition. This is hardly
surprising – the first extraction operation in Blackpool was abandoned after it caused an earthquake.
2.
“One myth still remains – that
fracking damages our countryside.”
Perhaps he
meant to say “fact”, because otherwise this statement is truly bizarre. Fracking
requires the industrialisation of our countryside on an almost unprecedented
scale, with around 15,000 wells in clumps of six to ten needed to match
production levels in the North Sea. Then comes the huge increase in traffic
needed to service this infrastructure: six to sixteen lorries every day for
five years according to a report
commissioned by Caudrilla.
